felix's blog

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Tonight's the night

Ok, if you're reading this on Friday August 2nd, you're reading it in the short gap between when I wrote this blog and kicked off the final backup.  Once I've a safe archived copy in a few spots, I will reformat the HDD of the newjunkie server, install teh distro i've chosen, then start learning the command-line interfaces necessary to set up a server and a uni dev box for C dev and  eclipse....

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Hacked but functioning

Okay, so I paid teh price for running this site on a Microsoft box.  Last Tuesday a few bots set up user accounts on the site and then proceeded to exploit existing Drupal hoels to take root on the MS box.  Serves me right really.

So teh site will be down for a few days as I wipe the MS install and put a unix flavour on the same box. Better security, and serving is still the raison d'etre for unix, and just a sideline for MS. So hopefully we'll see some other improvements.

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When I was twenty

When I was twenty scarcely a fortnight could go by without a song, a movie, or even a well-thought out comment from a friend evoking a strong, honest emotional response.
Now I've travelled forward in time as far again as I had back then, I guess I'm saying I am over forty, just. And it was for the first time in perhaps years that tonight I listened to a song that managed to trigger something in me.
Mountain Goats, Sunset Tree album the first few songs. I've heard them before many times. But I haven't had a shot today and I've had a LOT of shots as of late.

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On despair

I watched a good documentary last night on an artist I'd never heard of before. Phil Ochs. 

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Conspiracy or economics?

I ended up putting my day's adventures in news, as it's factual and relevant to all IV drug users, especially those in the Brisbane area. Here's a link to it.

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The power of a cold

I awoke at 4am yesterday with the concrete realisation that I would not be going in to work. A cold that was just a talking point when I had gone to bed had promoted itself to being totally in charge of my destiny for the foreseeable future.

What impresses me about sickness like this is the way it removed my normal desire for opiate intake. When I went to bed later that night I had scored only once (been using 3 times a day lately) and had only drunk a quarter of my normal metro takeaway dose.

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Pain perception

"a long period of chronic pain is is preferred to a significantly shorter period of mild discomfort with peaks of acute pain." 'Thinking, Fast and Slow' Daniel Kahneman, 2011 978 1 84614 055 6

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It's so cold in Alaska

Snapshot, me at 41.

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Possible logic flaw, help needed.

So, I have this job okay, it's not a nice job. But this job earns me enough money to be able to buy the quantity of illegal drugs that I need in order to be able to cope with my job.

Now, it feels like there's a problem with that sentence, and yet it's self-contained and all encompassing, so maybe it's okay. Maybe it's a zen haiku? Maybe I am needlessly worrying?

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All beauty must die

I can think of no greater fear. No one concept or idea causes me more stress than this one. That one day I may no longer enjoy gear. To inject, and not enjoy. A horrible thought, but I guess it is not a universal law that I should always enjoy gear, is it? Why should I assume that although I may fall in and out of love, take up and discard various hobbies, why would gear remain a core enjoyed activity?

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