sayarsan's blog

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What a Waste!

So, I'm back on track one might say, using the 'Usage Tracker' and already I have noticed a slight moderation in my behaviour with Benzos. I think about it more often and think about how much I take at any time. Like 4 o'clock this morning when I took 5mg instead of 10-15mg, and still I managed a solid 4hr sleep.

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Waiting for the chook fruit to cool

Waking up with a persistent tinnitus to see that 50mg of yesterday's Biodone is still un touched by my bed and I am feelin noticeably more robust than the morning before I filled my script which I had waited a week for.

With 10mg diazepam dissolving in my mouth I sit at the pc with a cup of weak, sweet black tea and resolve to resume using the tracker. A point I have been wrestling with in my head.

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A change is as good.....

And a major change at that. After spending near enough to five years in a tiny bedsit in a complex for 'Transitional Housing' where accommodation consisted of a bedsit ready furnished with a double bed, lounge, bedside table, kitchen table, microwave, stove, fridge and washing machine, nobody who had been living for two years in a rooming house in Fortitude Valley for those homeless who don't want to sleep rough would pass up such a self-contained dwelling a few minutes walk from a magnificent beachfront location was truly idyllic.


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The Effects of a Tattoo.

How would anyone born and raised in suburban Brisbin with its regimented schooling and religion founded on fraudulent testaments that look tattered and lame once the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and Little Red Riding Hood have been accepted as frauds ever accept that a tattoo, more accurately a style of tattoos, can ever exert an occult power however simple and mundane that power might be demonstrated.

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Strontium Dog

There's a Doc around here who croaked like a bullfrog in the wet season until he lost his licence to prescribe, which he is contesting, when I have worked up a monstrous 7 Xanax/day habit. So seductive they're despicable.


He did pay attention to my health by sending me off for all sorts of tests and scans, one of which revealed osteoporosis. He put me on one medicine which is a hormone strategy which made me feel worse than Seraquel so he gave me Strontium Ranelate


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Diffrent Strokes

"What ever gets you through the night..." is a memorable lyric. It is also a truism that gets me into some of the most unpleasant nights in memory when "Whatever" is unavailable. I wish I was a schoolboy for the night when a bit of masturbation would do the trick but those days are long gone.


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Joy, Joy, Joy

With the state of the site being a complete mystery I had become somewhat perturbed however I am a man of faith which has again been rewarded. The Tracker can go through another simple trial.

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At the doctor

A point of endless speculation and more than a couple of urban myths among doctor shoppers is the surveillance of people on the Program (Methadone/Subutext/Suboxone) who go doctor shopping. At the G.P. seeking advice about my gout and he mentioned pain management; "I use Methyl Salicylate cream topically seems to be as good as anything" I said and added "It is bad at times. Last night I hardly slept".

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The Shan's fight for their Rights and Lost Homeland

The Shan State is a land of distant horizons, hills and mountain ranges, blessed with naturally- beautiful surroundings. Its temperate climate made it a very pleasant place to live and explore and, in combination with sufficient amounts of rainfall made the land fertile enough to grow all kinds of food crops.  The inhabitants were made of diverse groups who until 1962, lived together peacefully side by side. The country was economically under-developed but their love of peace and the quietness of the countrys made the majority of citizens happy and contented. They valued their simple lives and freedom more than all the riches and modern development of the world.

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The Same Goes With Egos

Like an abscess, once the infection is introduced it will run its course until resolution is reached. A prick of the skin lets in some pathogen which the body detects as intrusive and quickly enough a train of events is set in place which will soon have the offending pathogen/s washed out in a flood of hemo-serous fluid commonly called pus.


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