Reason for Using

sayarsan's picture

After using the Usage Tracker for a while i notice that it gets harder and harder to think of things to put in the Reason for Using pane. When i think of general reasons it isn't hard to come up with a range of transgressions that society, specific people, the human condition or personal shortcomings furnish as an apparent excuse to take drugs. When i am alone and about to take a dose of some drug and stop and ask "why am i doing this right now when i could do something else or could put this off?" i am finding it hard to come up with some original reason and find myself using a convenient excuse like "force of habit". Maybe other users can give me some ideas.

felix's picture

I have found my answers becoming more and more asinine, droll, or plain sarcastic. What reason is there other than existence?
Look at my last few:
Out of habit
A friend rang and offered
Her payday, again
Christmas madness
Christmas stress
Still wanting to get through Christmas
Christmas Day, nuff said.

You get the point. If the Tracker is to serve a useful purpose, it should not frustrate users with inanities. It may be time to replace it with something more physical, like "Location"...

sayarsan's picture

I find it amusing when i look at the reasons especially when they are creative and i wouldn't want to change it. Maybe it's a phase we go through where we are confronted with our ability to justify our behaviour even when there is no real need, for instance even if Felix just put down "Christmas" it would still highlight his usage for christmas day. When the reason given is something readily identifiable by another person such as 'sweating', 'runny nose', 'diarrohea' i am certain the period between doses would become steadily longer. When we settle for the next good excuse instead of an identifiable reason it becomes a little self defeating but only as long as we refuse to recognise what we're up to. I have no intention really of reducing my intake at this point so when i find myself giving reasons that seem sarcastic or silly it is often a glimpse of the absurdities included in our behaviours.

We all play the self justification game. Perhaps 'want' is as good as anything to write! (Unless it is hanging or other illness)...hmmm, guess there's 'want' and deep-nagging, clawing away at yr mind, want' too!

sayarsan's picture

Maybe this is to do with having an 'acceptable reason' like multiple compound fractures is a pretty good excuse to have an opiate but does that mean a runny nose is less of a good excuse? Not if the runny nose is just a foretaste of the intense nausea, vomiting, diarrohea, cramps and insomnia which are bound to follow if you have a solid habit. I feel i am a long way from understanding the intricacies of this thing and have noticed that my reasons for using box is becoming the most interesting feature for now.