Shit Happens

sayarsan's picture

"Life's a bitch and then you die" were the words of comfort given by a friend at an appropriate time many years ago now. Maybe as we get older the shit that makes us miserable becomes something common place. Coping mechanisms are found and hopefully over time these mechanisms become more appropriate which sounds ridiculous really unless it imposes on others. More adaptive i suppose as age and circumstances make choices more restricted but rest assured there is always something life can throw that you that reminds one of the inescapable truism that 'shit happens'. Perhaps when life can no longer throw something like that at you then life itself is the shit that is happening.


felix's picture

I guess from a young age I viewed using junk as the ultimate trade off. You could bundle up all your problems - emotional, family, work, financial, and trade them for one overweening problem, a habit. You no longer need concern yourself with why your parents treat you the way they do, junk submerges that issue. And how to pay next week's rent? Another non-issue, whilst you are stoned. The only issue you need deal with is sourcing the next shot, and after a habit builds, this problem becomes such a major one, equivalent to trying to earn over $1000 after tax each day, paid daily, in cash...that all your other problems recede to the horizon.
At this point, I guess it equates to Sayarsan's 'life itself is the shit that is happening' comment. Scoring and supporting the habit has become your life. Whether you are dealing, and answering a hundred phone calls a day, keeping a register in your head of all credit given, and timing your breaks to go home and bag up again, or whether you're just cooking your own gear from raw ingredients, spending your days juggling the few invaluable sources of morphine, then you find that whatever choice you've made to support the habit, it is now your life.
In learning the skills you need to handle these major drug-related problems, you inadvertently acquired the skills that would enable you to handle the smaller issues that first led you to drug use. Other people's emotional instability is just that - their emotional instability, not yours.
And you get to that point where your life is shit, and maybe, just maybe, you find a way to wriggle out of your habit, and once again you're in the flow sometimes mistakenly described as 'real life', and you're knocking over problems that once threatened to knock you over, and you realise, in a flash, that despite all the propaganda, beinga drug addict taught you a whole parcel of skills that you would not have acquired anywhere outside of another unusual life choice, e.g. monastery, army or guru.