Time to start tracking my usage again.

sayarsan's picture

It was New Year's Eve that I indulged at a social gathering of neighbours, that is I ate some party food and had a glass of beer. I had an enjoyable time of it but tired quickly and by 9pm I was ready to quit and came home to bed where i spent a few hours drifting in an out of sleep but not really sick, I didn't vomit but was queasy enough to shy away from any biodone and didn't look at my 100mg bottle of maintenance dose. The next day I was followed by the queasy feeling like my liver was groaning, I figured it deserves a break and over time came around to the idea of a behavioural change.

A pet area of mine is the theory of neuroplasticity and the ability we have to change the actual wiring of our minds. I had been watching a few TedX talks recently some of which were on this but not exclusively, I find TedX to be good therapy for what of another phrase. I began to notice the notion crystallize that a Usage Tracker is indeed a tool which is handy for adjusting one's behaviour. To reshape my behaviour in this case is to reduce my daily intake of 165mg/day Biodone to 115mg/day.

I found that although I was taking only 2/3 my daily dose of biodone I wasn't missing it much and decided to become systematic about reducing my dose by 50mg/day. Here it is at 8.30am on day seven and I still don't really miss it, in some ways I feel better. My stomach is happier and I don't feel as bloated but my appetite isn't very strong, perhaps I notice a few aches and pains.

Fortunately my dosage regimen gives me plenty of space to adjust my intake independently of my shrink and have banked 300mg so far so my friend will be happy when I tell her. I'll be happy when a year has passed if I am still banking 50mg/day and I feel like dropping some more. I'm off to the chemist now for my morning walk and will probably get a few hours sleep when I get home.

After my few hours of sleep I am feeling noticeably better but I know this can be as transitory as the nausea. I resolve to be more rigorous about my exercise regimen which amounts to going for a walk in the evening to get a decent meal, it isn't raining and when it cools in the evening it will be more pleasant. Right now I am going to record my usage.

Comments

sayarsan's picture

In the above post I mentioned the theory of Neuroplasticity and how a Usage Tracker like the one we use on this site is a useful tool in this context. It is a useful tool for other things too for instance it is a good way to keep a track of usage patterns and also for keeping a track of where a large part of your financial expenditure goes.

Until someone has experienced the value of this behaviour it would probably resemble something like a page in your notes when you are an inpatient and they keep track of everything from fluid balance and bowel movements. If your primary interest is as a therapeutic tool this is true.

My first experience trying this sort of thing was as an in-patient when I was admitted for surgery on an abscess which had got out of hand and had become septic, that is it had begun to invade my blood system which can be lethal in a short time if left untreated. To complicate matters I was using a large amount of morphine and had to rapidly detox from that. I was fortunate to have a reliable friend who would manage my cannabis for me, from past experience I have found cannabis to be helpful way to relieve the withdrawals. This usage wasn't being recorded on my Drug Chart at the foot of the bed so I had to keep track in my head.

The attitudes of the staff was surprisingly helpful. I didn't burden them with a confession of my cannabis usage and I presume they noticed anyway but didn't burden me with an inquisition as long as the time between my 6th hourly 50mg doses of morphine for the pain was being extended by a few hours between successive shots.

This documentary about neuroplasticity shows some other truly fascinating therapeutic applications of this mind theory; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFCOm1P_cQQ.