Vile Drugs, Vile People

sayarsan's picture

I got some Valium from a friend, 10x5g and took 10mg that night and the next day my friend brought more so now it's up to 20mg i took yesterday, a total of 30mg over 2 days which isn't a lot compared with my past record. After at least 3 months without taking more than the odd 10mg i feel as if i've taken more than necessary and even think perhaps i took too much. The 8+ hours of uninterrupted sleep and the extra few hours spent dozing were welcome but the time it takes to really get up again is running into more than 2 hours now, i hope the TuoCha helps. What is remarkable is my usual intake of metro is down 100mg over 24hrs and i am only now thinking about it. By now it's a matter of fulfilling obligations which at least is something but i'm beginning to see how i avoided doing anything for years. Fulfilled my obligation and went for a ride to the bank now after 5 hours or so and a nap they have pretty much worn off. Valium always did last awhile. Or so i thought but after waking from sleep a couple of times there is a residual bad temper that brings back memories. Solid sleep and 100mg metro is the best i can say for it.

The same friend and i use the word as loosely as her morals must fit if in fact she has any palmed me off with this vile stuff called Seroquel. I had a fair idea of what I was in for when I saw the packet but decided to try them just to see what they did and ended up regretting it. I took one 200mg pill and felt as shithouse as i did after i shot up some Innovar-vet a diabolical preparation which combines Fentanyl (irresistible to any junky) with Inapsine. From what I can gather Inapsine is something like Haloperidol so I will make sure i never touch that either but the effect, contrary to what the literature says is to make the user agitated and distressed to the point of distraction. Me and my girl spent the night desperately trying to find heroin, pot, pills, anything to counter the effect which persisted for some hours and the Seroquol was similar. Thank god i didn't shoot it up! I tried to write down what the effect was like but couldn't use a pen so I tried using my PC but couldn't use the keyboard. Innovar-vet is for vetrinary use which is a shame for the poor animals and Seroquel is an anti-depressant which i find cruel at best and my opinion was seconded by a neighbour who also tried them once. I explained to the woman who gave it to me that she could do well to stop taking them not only for her state of mind but also to alleviate her obesity but I'm sure she is still taking to them to this day. Perhaps it was the effect of this vile drug which drove her to knock on doors in the wee hours of the morning hoping to find some pot or at least a cigarette and someone to moan with. She came to me with a couple of dollars change and a few cheap tailor made cigarettes to swap for pot and this after i stopped smoking. I explained that even when i did smoke a lot I tried to draw the line at cigarettes that gave me a pain in my lungs.

She moved out several months back and i rarely think of her except to remember an overweight woman in her late twenties with two daughters in care and capable of managing little more than a gradual slide downhill. She certainly isn't a one off in this town where her circumstances, build and lifestyle are far from unusual. I see them everywhere these gross procreators with a gaggle of plump brats all sporting uninterested countenances and except for the infants a slothful demeanour. Some of them have their kiddy wagon which suggests the presence of a couch potato husband, probably alcoholic and possibly estranged or divorced. With images like this confronting us all the time it seems natural to me that thinking people will find the urge to procreate diminishing rapidly but unfortunately the giant sloths are the ones who continue to have babies for want of anything else to do and even for want of a secure income, an example of their thoughtlessness. I will stop short of suggesting some outrageous solution to this problem I have envisaged since the only logical solution is too abhorrent to contemplate but still I shudder to think where it will all lead.


felix's picture

I have oft thought there is a bug in the Darwinian model of evolution, at least for humasn. You reproduce if you are fit enough - but the fitness bar is surpassed by pretty much anyone who makes puberty in the Western World - I mean, there is no real struggle to survive to separate weaker genes from stronger ones. Like yourself, I know how closely this thought is allied with the horrific models that have been practicised many times in the last century, models that encompass words such as genocide, re-education and mass-sterilisation. Nonetheless, I often wonder what the long term impact on humans as a species will be after many generations of healthcare enabling those who wouldn't be able to reproduce in the 'natural' world, and economies giving comfortable lives to the weak and punishing the strong...
It's such a hard subject to tackle without sounding like an Aryan, so I hope I am not misconstrued as pushing any one genotype over another - my biggest hope is that everything collapses back to barbarism before the human gene is evolutionarily dead-ended by tools of our own making. As long as I can stockpile a few bottles of metro from the local chemist in the initial hours of the collapse, I will be happy.

sayarsan's picture

I think a few litres of metro would be far from sufficient and there is bound to be a crush on at all pharmacies, a very unpleasant crush at that. The danger here is the assumption that a "return to barbarism" will usher in renovation of the gene pool. It was the road from barbarism which led us here. I seriously doubt if the world we live in is giving comfortable lives to the weak and nor is it punishing the strong. The specimen I described is far from comfortable and it is estranged from its offspring, the father more so. Richard Dawkins put it well when he pointed out the distinction between what we inherit in our genes and what we learn from our surroundings human or otherwise. A post apocapalyptic or postwar environment stimulates reproduction and evolution of genes while the current circumstances stimulate a slowdown of the same. Hence the development of contraception and a reluctance to have children. No way would evolution let this one go and rest assured that probably all organisms have an inbuilt 'population sink' waiting to become unplugged. Have a look at the appendix to 'Naked Lunch' i think for a description of that one or just google it.
Meanwhile instead of waiting for the apocalypse which the strong are probably planning to make room for their genes it makes more sense to simply seek out those who have already dealt with the problem in a sensible and human fashion. They have always been around but those who dominate our lives will do their utmost to keep them a secret or worse.