Waiting for the chook fruit to cool

sayarsan's picture

Waking up with a persistent tinnitus to see that 50mg of yesterday's Biodone is still un touched by my bed and I am feelin noticeably more robust than the morning before I filled my script which I had waited a week for.

With 10mg diazepam dissolving in my mouth I sit at the pc with a cup of weak, sweet black tea and resolve to resume using the tracker. A point I have been wrestling with in my head.

I feel remiss in my obligations to the site; my long term wrestling with benzos makes for valuable data and it is at the 'Usage Tracker' that early maps stated nothing more than "Here be data". I had resolved to provide as much reliable data as I could and was impressed by the initial effect it had on my usage.

I stopped using it because I had run aground you might say, on a sandy bar which prevented me navigating to my 'Timeline' for Benzos. In my enthusiasm to explore the limits of the 'Usage Tracker' I was 'marooned' so that my benzo column could not find its 'timeline'.

I also stopped recording my 'Done and cannabis intakes which is reflective of a frustration with my inability to reach the benzo timeline and this verges on the petulant in ways I don't realise until later.

At this stage of the enterprise it is a matter of form to provide data as an integral part of the site's function. It is our data, for our use not for sale. I click on 'Old Site' to remind me of the days when there was one person on the site and just how much thought has gone into it way back then. It had a feel of 'rarefied essence' which often comes from working with Felix, very quiet achiever.

I resolve to continue adding, and sharing, data and presume that the 'timeline issue' will be resolved when the time comes. (hint, hint)