Why does the good stuff happen when I am in bad ways?  FOr the first time in (ever) I bought two sweep tickets in my local Comm Bank Melbourne Cup sweep, and they came first and second.  And of course, on the same day I got paid for doing a tax return I had done months before.  And of course a cheque I deposited last week for some PC repairs I did also cleared that day.  So all up it came to $202, just enough to get 2 q's and a bus home.  Belief in a higher power would have me thinking that there is a sick divine intervener testing me, as though we don't all know how a junkie reacts to the chance of gabo....

Amazing how quick the junkie body returns to bad ways.  Wanting and waiting are the two rocks my life is built on again all of a sudden.  And i find myself in expensive cars with accented and rich Euro women for all the wrong reasons.... It's going to take something big to break us outta this new rut, but with S going away next Wednesday maybe there's some hope, i don't know.  Funny how I was down on the relationship when we were both straight but now we are both using I can act semi-passionately to her (I mean i can sorta say what I feel for a change) but in my heart the relationship depresses me incredibly coz honesty is an ancillary function of us, gabo collection is our main purpose.

Enough negativity.  Gotta go score somehow.  whoop de do!

(BTW, went to an all day EXcel Level 3 course today and learnt a little on XML but not enough.  I may have to start studying XML/.NET/ASO.NET etc in earnest soon as it seems the way my "skills" are heading me).