051204

wake up early on a sunday morning
drive my mone to work,
return b4 falling.
watch Leon (once professional) do his thing
eyes give me a fisheye perspective on the world outside
my head
am i hollow
modest mouse start a rhythm as i pump 2 empty
gary oldman bringing life to a screen, helped by (i fdiscovered this week) natalie portman
saw her in garden state the other day
wonder when my opiate desire will go away
hate to be an old man
doing the same old things

My parents hold on
while i dream of letting go
where did i get my priorities so wronG/
was it a millisecond event that i could have avoided,
like a sideswiping car,
or was it a gradual accrual,
barnacle like i now stand covered in the result of all my choices
welded to the spot
just as surely as every other is welded to their spot as a result of their choices.

and why does eating kill depression.
am i that much a chemical factory,
and if so is opiate use so "wrong"
if i am just the sum of a billion billion chemical reactions?
<% sober = 38325.7291667 straight = cint(24*(now() - sober)) response.write ("And again, " & straight & " hours") %>

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