A beautiful woman graced this chair a very short time ago.
In fact it was so recent, the song I started playing on my PC still plucks at this flat's fetid air.
And why did I start playing this song on my PC. To impress her perhaps? But if I am to impress, what tune to choose, to help tune? On the way here, in the van, she had said of Sarah Blasko's JJJ pop song "Why is she so depressed?". A good question, to which I had no answer.
So I, on my PC, which outputs line level, which goes into a video recorder, then straight out, into the TV's Line In.
Come to think of it, I don't use the video's functions anymore. I depend a lot on my PC. Hence my desire to RAID it up. (I am tempted to state "RAID the bitch up, motherfuckers", but its falsity rings. A good sign I believe, perhaps I have not gone totally culturally backwards.)
Anyway, I started writing of this beauty. I played her some Shins. She had just had a big whack, so probably didn't notice. I threw my entire knowledge of Scandinavian culture at her. Moomintrolls. Oh, and I showed her I knew that Berg meant mountain.
Lordy, you can have 35 years of education and culture and what happens when faced with a pretty girl? I fall apart and scavenge the ratted out attic of my mind for anything in the box marked "Scandinavia". Probably a huge insult, me assuming she would know of Snufkin and the Snork maiden.
But luckily for me, she said she was "raised on it". And that Sweden used to have the highest per capita suicide rate. Now Finland does. The Moomintrolls are dark little bastards, when you think about them. Well, not all of them. The Snork maiden is fairly self obsessed and hence not so dark. I must re read this book soon.
So Ella. "I haven't used for eight weeks, except for four times in that period". Self deception, it's so funny. She says she loves sarcasm. As she ashed into a beer bottle on the return journey from hell, I said "Classy".
A standard line of mine, used mainly with the Simtart, but in this case, I tried it out for size on another girl.
"What does that mean, 'Classy'?" she enquired, so Swedishly.
Dumbfounded. SO many of my answers are stock standard, like responses read off a script. So when Ella deviated from the script, I was lost.
I smiled at her stupidly, in the darkness of the van.
"I was being sarcastic" I said, wooden headedly.
"Oh, what is this sarcasm?" she said.
It took me a minute to realise she was being sarcastic about sarcasm.
And this girl was coming to my flat....