new hair.  very oasis, as J said, the lezzo hairdresser picked by S.  gone is the fringe, gone is the ability to hide those last two months b4 friends and family force me to get my hair cut.  product product product said J.  but S had warned me not to buy any product. nonetheless i felt a little silly coz it got to the stage where i was just saying no coz i had promised to, not because it seemed to make sense.  it kind of felt like a mechanic saying "Your car won't work unless you buy this new clutch" and me standing there saying "I'm not buying no clutches!".

Except a haircut ain't a car.  If it can't stand on its own merits as a haircut, if it needs chemical help to look like a real haircut, then ferkit i say.  go find me a hairdresser who can cut hair that has no chemical dependencies.

anyways, shout outs to Billy Bragg...

Adam and Eve are finding out all about love....  and

I was 21 when I wrote this song, I'm 22 now but I won't be for long

Of course these lines don't mean much on their own, but they're like hyperlinks to a place of vast emotions and memories for me.   I saw Bragg in 1988 b4 i got into gabo, still a virgin, still hopeful, and Bragg lit a fire inside, or at least illuminated something.  There was more than Top 40 crud, you could actually effect real change in the world with songs, not just get chicks dancing.  And he's still relevant.  I am listening right now to Price of Oil that he wrote when US and UK went into Iraq.   Back to Basics is the album I've been blaring in car and work cubicle these last two days.  They help a lot getting over those four days straight usage. (and i hop up take a valium, chuck on fettucine and i'm back).  yeah four days, $800, what a waste.  crap gear, looks like North Korea isn't working too hard keeping our streets flooded in white powders.  Weird when the authorities actually make a slight dent in supply.  U know u r living on a n island when that shit happens.  Won't last forever though while gear is a million a kilo on the streets.  Market fills the void.  Profit margins like that become very attractive as competitors are removed from supply.  But paranoia is SO passe.

I know my vision is diffracted from withdrawal.  S yelled at me on the fone this arvo when I tried to tell her that her pain may not be all gabo related, maybe some normal period pain etc...now she feels bad and sends apology sms and I feel so ferked up I don't reply and I get home to notes and the shit continues.  She's at the theatre with SII, I'm thinking about the time two months ago when she was trying Tony on for size, looking at a replacement boy like u look at a replacement PC.  Not that I'd be any less mercenary in a role reversal, I was just thinking about it as u do when gabo goes away and your pleasure centre glands look like a dessicated walnut.   Bad thoughts are chemical in origin but their results are just as real regardless of origin.   Dangerous territory, scoring every payday, spending money I owe to John Howard (hoping he may forget the GST debt if he loses in October) then I see losers on TV saying they don't trust Howard's opposition.  Not that O am supporting them but ferk how could u trust Howard???  All I can imagine is that there have been so many websites anbd books provingHoward lies that people are blase about it...But this is flawed thinking.

I gotta go.  Fettucine only takes seven minutes and that's how long I have been pouring venom for.  My head feels better a bit I guess.