I'm the first to admit that my current sarcastic negative state may be somewhat influenced by the first sips of this strong bourbon and coke, the 5 X 2mg Valiums and the 40mg Methadone (and I wear the badge of "Clean" proudly my friends!).
But that doesn't make my thoughts and feelings any less real, does it? So when I say "I'm glad to have a girlfriend/flatmate so attracted to me she has to sleep with her back to me every night and she must remove my hand from her leg when it ends there during a visit to her half-bros place".
Sure she's recently said that our relationship is over but then she also said she'd be outta here 4 weeks ago and that hasn't ahppened.
I guess I am just another confused male passing time. Making zucchini Fruttata, about to watch Farenheit 911 bootleg (not that i condone such things of course, those Studio Execs don't get their $100 cigars for free now do they? ASP helps, but finding out yesterday that the net host that I just paid for a year's hosting with last week don't support ASP.NET doesn't help. So now I have to lear old ASP 3.0 to write these pages and ASP.NET for work stuff. Of course in an ideal world it's good to know both but in an ideal world I would have approximately 85 hours each day and no need for sleep. Plus a constant supply of a non-addictive opiate. Funny how different people have different perceptions of what makes a perfect world. I tried to work for MSF once and got to the final interview before chickening out and running back to a corporate share cropping job. knowing that I'd be a much happier person for having worked for them plus the fact that money is not important to me once I am fed and shod also adds to the confusion - why take the corporate grind if I don't need to ?
Junkies do a lot of these stupid things. Last week I got another $50 parking ticket. i read the sign, 20 minutes maximum, I was in town where you are pretty much guaranteed to get caught if you break the rules, I knew I had been in the Optus shop for more than 20 minutes but what did I do? Go and move the car or push it back in my mind? Latter of course. Same way I justified spending $300 every day to be able to "go to work" to earn $80 a day....
When is some decent neurologist going to show us a 3D projection of the "stupid" spot in a junkie's brain that allows this behaviour in an individual that is other wise "normal". At least I am not a serial killer who must eat kids' brains whilst being able to pull off the nice neighbour impersonation.
Ho hum. S out walking after I refused to drive her to Mt Coot-tha for pushing hand off leg. Kindergarten antics on both our behalfs. A match made in heaven.
back.