that was the spot the green princess stood when her prince, the Brokestein monarch, told her he was not in love with her. There's a sad fold in the ground that's always in shadow, near a dry creekbed with three giant smooth boulders at a u bend.
It's here her heart died, and the shadow fell onto the ground for evermore.
Legend tells the monarch strode away, clutching the hilt of his sword. Some legends say he had tears on his cheeks as he walked away, other legends say a cruel smile rendered on his lips.
The only common element to the legends is that the monarch did definitely walk away from a heartbroken green princess.
(Which is not very nice when you think about it. Makes you want to know more about why he's leaving. And if he's crying, what's that about? Why would he cry if he's telling her he doesn't love her? What's going on?)
And that shadow fell on that spot evermore. Roughly halfway between the emotion and the release.
****
the only thing i have learned is that there is an accounting view to life.
to live properly, each night you must carry forward the days gains or losses.
the next morning you need to wake afresh, with the previous days gains or losses,
and build on them. sometimes the losses extend, threaten to spiral out of
control. but you manage your life as best you can, to minimise the losses, to try
to create some gains.
In 1990 I found a way to wipe the balance sheet clean every day. no losses carried
forward ever more, once i had gear. every day was great, because no matter how
stressful or forsaken the previous day had been, this new day i was starting
again.
i thought i had found nirvana. i thought this was the answer.
i continued to utilise this management style for the next 18 years.
. - . - . - . - . - . -
i eventually learned that all i had done was skip growth. the nett of all gains
and losses. by eliminating the losses, i was at the same time eliminating gain.
this was fine when all was loss. but i also lost the ability to determine when a
day may have had a gain. i assumed that as i'd had a bad four quarters, all
lossmaking, then the next four quarters would be the same, so i managed my
emotions with the same cleanslate approach each day.
i committed suicide in 1990, but it's taken me eighteen years to write the note.
and i'm still finding things to add to it now, as i sit here in the dark. yes it's
dark in this flat, but only because i turned out the lights. i could turn them on
but i don't. a choice, that's what that is. a choice i make to not recognise gain,
life, growth.
a lot of accounting is about recognition. There are even length standards, the
Australian Accountant's bible, AASB they used to be called before the dragon of
globalisation shortened this acronym to IAS. And one of these tomes refereed to
"Recognition of assets".
It's all in how you choose to recognise (or not) your assets.
You could say we are all basically in the same position spiritually, but we all
choose to recognise ourselves differently. no prizes for guessing how the junkie
recognises his net worth. what value he or she places upon his spiritual flame.