(Warning - excess usage of tech jargon next three paragraphs).

Oh happy day! Finally cleaned up a RAID'd 50GB partition and placed Adobe CS5 onto it. There was no room on my itty-bitty 30 gigabyte, $110, Solid State Drive - a sucker for new tech, I bought this expecting lightning fast disk reads and writes - in reality, I've noticed no improvement. But there is a hint about a regedit hack for AHCI instead of IDE config that may turn my under performing expensive storage medium into superfast futureware.

The thing looks like a floppy disk, has to be said. Given my gabo-starved budget, I only allowed myself the 30GB version of this possibly alien-derived tech. In fact, I am surprised I have not heard more conspiracy theories suggesting that most computing devices stem from ideas stolen from crashed UFOs. Let's google that - here's one saying computer monitors came from spaceships . I would like to know more about number theory - possibly then I would understand why it seems that any bug-crazy idea you can generate in your head has already been developed and posted to the net...Number theorists comment away!

Anyway, having CS5 (installed on this cleaned up 50GB partition) means having Dreamweaver, meaning I can do real WYSIWYG - I used the free CoffeeCup app for a month or two, but it's one of those 'not-really-free' free apps that delete all the good bits from the free version. i.e. I could write these entries in HTML then see the rendered result, but not work in the rendered result like I do here. I could push one file a time up to the FTP site, not blocks of them. Sounds not much perhaps, but having to start every sentence with a bracketed p, then finishing with a bracketed slash p, well, it blocks what little creative flow I have...

So what can I say now I've unleashed the inner stream of consciousness? Well, not surprising, here I go whingeing about being a junkie again. I know, why whinge about something you've chosen yourself...but in my defence, I chose the substance, not the archaic laws and morality attached to them. I did not choose the price of around $1500 a pure weight.

So I've had an eye opening weekend, scoring off street type dealers, blowing my thousand dollar Christmas bonus in just a few days. I guess I did put a bit towards my hols, maybe 4 or 500, but the rest went to one of those dealers that really live the stereotype - you know, they ask you to pull up outside their house in Inala, then hobble out and hand you the packet through the car window, while all the Housing Commission neighbours watch disinterestedly.

Makes you realise how good you've had it this last year or so being spoonfed pure by a friend. As he caught up on some well overdue sleep, I caught up on a re-introduction to the seedy junk biz. Luckily I've developed a very cynical view of the industry, so I expect any simplicity in scoring that I've come across to be whipped away any moment. Be it by cops or just sheer perverseness of any human involved, I just cannot believe a good thing will last.

So weekends like the last come as no surprise. If someone does not answer their phone for 72 hours, so what? That's why I have four different people I can score off these days. No reliability. It's hard to establish reliability short of organised crime. Any individual dealing on their lonesome can be gone overnight.

Letting shit go: Oooh, I just remembered in the shower that I realised on the weekend how many junkies just can't let shit go. Earlier this year I spoke to Peter A for the first time in fifteen years, and he started apologising for how he lost contact with me whilst he was in a Thai jail, and that's why...blah blah blah. Let it go. And Sim is still hung up on shit her mum did or did not do twenty years ago. Let it go. And then there's me and my whole '4ZZZ stepped on my head' fixation. Is this holding on to issues from decades ago something unique to users, or is it a human condition, just more noticeable in junkies when they get stoned?

Reading - Just finished Iain M Banks' new one, Surface Detail. Plus a lot of Lonely Planet Guides to Nepal. Impressed with how Sim is devouring those guides too. This may be my most organised holiday ever. I like to think of myself as just landing in a country and working it out as I hoof around, but as I age (like a cheese) I see benefits in reading up on the country and things to do - a morning plane flight around the base of Everest sounds pretty cool to me.

Listening - Drones and Gareth Liddiard's album Strange Tourist. Gareth is the Drones' lead singer, and I saw him at the Old Museum on Sim's 36th birthday in November. His distinctly Australian voice and wicked lyrical twisting has managed to eke out Sunset Rubdown from my rotational playing in-car. Well done!

Eating - badly. Using every day means being out till around 6:30, then usually to Sim's, and no cooking happens there. Maybe I get a chance on weekends but more often than not I make a pizza. No lasagne or pastas for over a month.