200606

And what am i doing today?

Getting stressed by the constant demands of Data Action for completed documents outlining our parameter requirements in the new Phoenix system.

Writing, installing and testing my first Windows Service, a service that will run on a pc, monitoring a folder for incoming files (faxes), then making a copy of the file to a different directory.  This will be installed on the miniserver at QCCUL (really just a beefy workstation).

Listening to lots of Mountain Goats, as the downloaded torrent of heaps of their albums finished today.  I played No Children to S before, she had the grace to laugh at its negative lyrics.

Watching Pirates of Caribbean 1.

Occasionally thinking of Lora, and Bek's comment that she is part of a group of people with 'negative energy'.

Attending software demos of accounting packages - Evolution today, a bit beneath our needs.

emailing my parents who don't ring me so much anymore, asking them if they need me to dig at their Corinda house on Saturday.

Waiting for the real estate to ring for me to do a bogus real estate reference for S so she can move out.

Going 4 days straight, trying to go through Friday, but being needed to pick up the gear from the highway drop off so I weaken and agree to use.

Feeling rejected and at times super hopeful for the future.  The days after a shot I am super depressed, thinking the future will be loneliness, forming crazy plans to marry any Russian HIV prostitute who will take me.  By now (Hours since gabo 76.55) I am edging slowly into minimal pessimism, streaked through with flecks of optimism.  But now that I know I am using tomorrow the optimism is declining.  Usage doesn't do much for my mindstate when I am going through a breakup.

But that's not to say I should not use - it's still the thing that keeps me sane.

More Mountain Goats - Nova Scotia right now.

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