It seems I was a little angry last night...
Tonight, I am champing at the bit, trying restraining myself from going back and majorly editing last night's rant. A common consequence with gabo use. Although, stereotypically it is the sober drunkard who puts his head in his hands when he remembers his drunken actions the night before. For me it's the opposite. Here I am, stoned, and I
Maybe it's a reflection of the fact that I am more often stoned than not. Or maybe it;s a crucial difference between alcohol and dope. Not sure if I ever mentioned in these texts that I neither drink nor smoke. Not against them at all, just something I don't indulge in. Not an efficient enough ingestion method was the way I saw it as a teenager, and that attitude has little changed.
Re my desire to edit last night's words. It is not that I deny any of the factual content, rather it is the emotional content that bothers me. Parents seen as collaborators. That's a bit strong for two people who have done nothing but patiently support me financially and otherwise the last thirteen years (and of course before that also). I would have to be blind Freddy (who was blind Freddy btw? If it was not so late I'd call out the cyberhounds and go on a google hunt for the source, but maybe someone can use the comments to heducate me...)
But I was trying to be honest. In my defence, I was as straight as I get these days. That's to say, about 50 hours. Given the half-life of morphine and diacetyl morphine, that's pretty straight. In fact, the pendulum had probably swung past the straight phase and well into the withdrawn phase I guess. Funny to think of using the argument that I was not on drugs as a defence.
So I have refrained from editing anything. Just addending here to say my pares are marvellous, and patient, and have always been the envy of all my friends.
<end schlock>
So tonight? Well it's late. Watched Curb your Enthusiasm S7E1 - heard it mentioned on a good ZZZ show and decided to check it out. By Seinfeld co-creator Larry David (hope that's right, as I mentioned, too late for cyberhounds). And some other random show I watched started me downloading Dambusters. Remember watching it with my dad as a young boy. Nothing more exciting for a young boy than to say an emotionally reserved father become excited at a movie. Creates strong memories.
Well, it's past eleven. I have to be at S's at 6am to take her mum to Greenslopes Hospital. S has taken the day off to help her mum, nice. Scary when a child sees a parent sick. A kind of wrongness, an out of placeness that can shake up all your world..
Aaah just remembered. It was Saxondale, S2E4 that mentioned Dam Busters. Hazy opiated memories.
Reading some Rucker again. Five days to the short story competition closure. Lotsa ideas, no staying power. Junk stimulates creativity, stifles productivity. Some manage it, not me.