Oh wicked punishment that is existence! A year's self-imposed exile from former associates has all crumbled in these last 24 hours. Last night whilst awaiting evil in East Brisbane, the first of my cut-off friends saw me awaiting. he too was there for the same as I.
Less than 24 hours later (what insanity have I contracted that I have fallen again to temptation twice in the course of one rotation of earth?) I wandered down a street, doing the eternal junkie slowstep of waiting for the dealer to turn on the mobile....
And who drove past, but D and R, joined in mutual need and satisfaction as they were a year ago, and a year before that. Parasites feed upon parasites (Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs. to bite ’em,. And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad. infinitum”.)
So I had to talk, if only to find out "what the dealer was doing".
A year's work undone in a few minutes. I cannot say I saw no warning signs, for last night I escaped by having the dealer tell me "Sly says hello". He had not come to my car, perhaps knowing I would ignore him as I had done in the chemist a month earlier. But by passing a message on to my superior, he knew I would get it.
It's all a nasty headferk, and I sit here typing madly as I feel the poison killing all incidences of passion it encounters. yet I will desire it again.
I took the precaution (at S's suggestion) of deleting all contact details for JMan or BMan. So now the practice of scoring will not be as simple. I would have to contact someone to get his number, which is possible, but it's another step I would have to take, another chance to see my own insanity.