sayarsan's blog

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Schnarbs

Since first coming across the word i have never seen or heard a definition for it. Since i saw the change in my personal usage chart since a category for morphine became available i realized just what a wonderful job of work we might be doing for 'schnarbs'. When only a few people use the tracker an individual is obvious moreso than when many use it. After experiencing how directly the State targeted any group that looked like being a nuisance by Joh's schnarbs we are asking for it big time.

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New fangled gadgets

Computers, microprocessors, associated tech and just about anything that can be marketed as "new technology" to all those consumers who are so eager to buy their way out of boredom have plenty to offer but from my brief experience it presupposes that a person has a reasonably clear idea of what they want to get from this new technology.

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No Such Thing as a Coincidence.“In the magical universe there are no coincidences and there are no accidents" W.S.Burroughs

While visiting a friend in the palliative care ward of the local hospital with dear friends and family around as the life was ebbing to and fro but clearly the tide was nearly out puts us in a frame of mind unique to each individual. Very few have had much if any experience of such a thing and my friend's Father has had more than his share. I knew my friend since the age of ten along with his family who lived next door but the circumstances which developed our friendship were far from straightforward shall I say.

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Shit Happens

"Life's a bitch and then you die" were the words of comfort given by a friend at an appropriate time many years ago now. Maybe as we get older the shit that makes us miserable becomes something common place. Coping mechanisms are found and hopefully over time these mechanisms become more appropriate which sounds ridiculous really unless it imposes on others. More adaptive i suppose as age and circumstances make choices more restricted but rest assured there is always something life can throw that you that reminds one of the inescapable truism that 'shit happens'.

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Goodies and Baddies

When my intake of opiates is a bit lean i sometimes wake up, assuming i got to sleep, after an active dream state with a head full of ideas. In the past this may have had a lot to do with why i took certain drugs, i'm not really sure coz it never made me worry about where my mind is going. Maybe when the dreams are not resolving anything i prefer they didn't happen but this must be on a subliminal level. Anyway i slept well and woke and decided to download an episode of the Fox series Fringe before reading my book.

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My Best Job Yet

Thierry Colombie The idea of overseas travel for its own sake had never been a priority for me which shows what a pedestrian mind I must have. Going overseas was something that would only ever come after I had taken a good hard look at the continent I was born on. Not out of national pride by any stretch but probably out of an awareness of how much this place has to offer anyone who is fascinated by different forms of animal and plant life, different and wonderful landscapes and different styles of humanity.

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The Fine Edge of Withdrawal

It seems to me that every junky must enjoy some aspects of the withdrawal syndrome. I know i do even though the avoidance of acute withdrawal is what will drive me usually, in the end to use again. So what is there to enjoy about hanging out you all cry. Something, I am sure otherwise you would stop and recoil from the stuff forever.

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Vile Drugs, Vile People

I got some Valium from a friend, 10x5g and took 10mg that night and the next day my friend brought more so now it's up to 20mg i took yesterday, a total of 30mg over 2 days which isn't a lot compared with my past record. After at least 3 months without taking more than the odd 10mg i feel as if i've taken more than necessary and even think perhaps i took too much. The 8+ hours of uninterrupted sleep and the extra few hours spent dozing were welcome but the time it takes to really get up again is running into more than 2 hours now, i hope the TuoCha helps.

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Seventeen Years Ago in a Quaint Thai Prison

Inside the jail the most widely consumed drug is of course tobacco. Some people smoke KrongThip which are Thai tailormades and better than their Australian equivalent but still hopelessly polluted. Boorlee Pamar are Burmese cigars which are very cheap since they don't pay tax to the Thai Tobacco Monopoly. They also last a long time and are useful currency like KrongThip. What I like most is yassoor TaiYai. The locally grown tobacco. It is very nice quality and costs $2A for a pack the size of a house brick. Drum tobacco costs $8A.

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Usage over time.

As the usage tracker on this site develops it is good fun seeing the various drugs we use and their frequency being plotted in a table. The biggest shame for me is that I couldn't have started doing this when I started taking drugs. From the days of my youth I have been of the opinion that my drug taking was something of a research assignment although at the time I seriously doubt if anyoune could have convinced me it was ok to publish anything pre-mortem. What a wasted youth not in terms of the wastage caused by taking drugs so much as that caused by taking drugs in a virtual vacuum.

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